At about 5:30 AM last Wednesday, I was ugly crying as I stepped half-heartedly side to side, trying to follow along with the perky workout crew on my TV.
Sometimes it's not glamorous, folks.
I wrote last week how I've never been 100% perfect with a fitness/nutrition plan after the two-week mark. I totally psyched myself out for Week 3 by doing this. And by Wednesday, all of the negative thoughts were running through my mind: this is ridiculous, why am I waking up to do this, I am too busy for this, I don't want to eat these foods, this is too much with the musical, I look like a crazy person with my cooler full of food each day, etc.
I posted about my bad workout to my Instagram story and to my fitness challenge group (gotta keep it 100 with you all). The support I got was wonderful. My teacher friend Meghan, who does BBG, messaged me and said "We all have those days. But you did the workout. I mean, you didn't skip it. Think about what you'd tell your students." She is SO RIGHT.
Just because something is hard, it doesn't mean we shouldn't do it. Autumn Calabrese says all of the time during the workouts, "You can do hard things". And she's totally right. I've been incorporating that phrase into my teaching, particularly with my beginner band students and my select high school women's choir (though I rephrase it to "You can do tough/difficult things" it doesn't sound as inappropriate, haha).
The biggest part is that I DID NOT GIVE UP AFTER THAT UGLY CRY. I stuck with my meal plan (mostly because everything was already prepped and it was literally easier to grab the pre-portioned bags of food rather than cook unhealthy things - meal prep ftw) and you know what? In the next few days, I felt like a BOSS during my workouts. And now I'm 25% done with the program! 20 of 80 days COMPLETE! Just one more week and we are out of Phase 1. Two more phases to go (plus the final "peak week").
Next phase, I am actually going to be adding MORE food into my diet. I need to - I think I have hit a plateau in terms of fat loss. I lost 6 pounds and 1% of body fat after Week 1, but have remained pretty stagnant sense. I think my body is clinging on to what it's got right now because I am taking in slightly too few calories for the level of intensity of the workouts. So yes, I am going to eat more to lose more. WIN.
I have also found that when I eat certain complex carbs (like whole wheat pasta), I have CRAZY bloating. So I'm going to begin adding these probiotics during Week 4 to help. But only when I have certain foods that seem to cause the bloating. It will be trial and error.
I am very much looking forward to the "refeed days" coming up in the next two phases. We use the refeed days to replenish glycogen stores in the muscles for harder workouts. I am already dreaming of what I'm going to have... the first one is right during my February break, too. I'm picturing waffles, a burger bun, and maybe white pasta. Mmmm.
After this program, I for sure will go back to my 80/20 lifestyle for eating healthy/indulging. There will be wine. There will be sweets. But there will also be new things in my diet, like eating before I workout (never did that before this program) or actually choosing to eat carrots (they are super satisfying to me right now. I've hated them all my life. Go figure).
But I have to see this thing through. And see if I can do it. WE CAN DO TOUGH THINGS!